Email Spam: A New High
I get so much email spam that I hardly read it anymore - just hit delete. However, the below email arrived over the weekend, and was such a pleasure to read, I thought I'd share. Key reason for doing so was the very strong message that I absolutely shouldn't tell anyone about this email!
Please note: unless George emails me to say otherwise, I am sure this is NOT real, and I'm reasonably unlikely to having my personal accounts examined by the Chancellor of the Exchequer (if he is, then he really, really needs a better use of his weekends). However, if Mr Osborne chooses to email to correct me that's fine, but I suggest he uses a rather more official email address than from which this email purports to come!
MP George Osborne.
The Chancellor of
The Correspondence & Inquiry Unit
2/W1 HM Treasury
1 Horse Guards Road
My name is MP George Osborne. As you must be aware, I am the new Chancellor of the Exchequer in the United Kingdom.I was appointed the new Chancellor of the Exchequer by the conservative government of Prime Minister David Cameron who is the present British Prime Minister.I took over from Alistair Darling as the head of the Treasury.
I am writing you with regards to your protracted funds transfer in the United Kingdom. For your interest, I would urge you to accord this correspondence your full indulgence and attention, as you may likely have been receiving other emails of similar contents from the numerous fraud syndicate and impostors.The authenticity and difference would be evident in a moment.
Since assuming responsibility, my office have centrally coordinated the management of UK's debt, which was hitherto being done by a myriad of establishments in an uncoordinated fashion in the past. This diffused debt management strategy in the past led to inefficiencies and non completion of payments.
The consideration of these myriad problems led government to support the establishment a new leadership by appointing me to take over with a mandate at achieving good debt management practices that make positive impact by consciously avoiding debt crisis and ability to manage debt efficiently by making sure that genuine transfers are paid.We have since paid off over 113 genuine transfers.
I was specially instructed by the Office of the Prime Minister to embark on a personal review of all long pending and protracted International Transfer Files of all Banks Operating in the United Kingdom and other European Countries, including those at our Offshore Foreign Correspondent Banks, with a view of redeeming genuine cases of Transfers, and consigning others as bad debt in the Federal Budget.The new Prime Minister David Cameron has mandated me to ensure that all genuine claim and transfers are paid.
The new Government of the PM David Cameron took this major step in addressing these problems recently by issuing mandate to the Treasury Department for payment of all external debts.The Treasury Department centralizes and coordinates the country's debt recording and management activities, including debt service forecasts; debt payments; and advising on debt negotiations as well as new borrowings. It also provides for the establishment of a supervisory board that has oversight functions of all banks as well as endorsement of strategic thrusts and policies for the organization, consistent with the broad policy objectives of the new government.
Your transfer file came to my attention just this morning, and I was compelled to take special interest in your transfer because of its peculiar history of procedural inconsistencies and unauthorized payment approval documents that are contained in your file.Obviously all the persons assigned to process your transfer have proved to be fraudulent and incompetent. Simply put it that some management of the Bank have tried unsuccessfully to smuggle your transfer through a non-existent back door, while impersonating the offices of various government departments before you, and feeding you with forged transferred document.
Consequently, I have this morning ordered the heads of all the relevant Government Departments genuinely involved in the foreign transfer protocol, including the Treasury Department, and the Bank to suspend all further action on your transfer pending conclusion of my personal investigation into the actual reasons why your transfer has failed to date. Official memos have been issued to the relevant departments.
However, preliminary evidence shows clearly that some fraudulent persons have been extorting monies from you through concocted excuses and lies, only for them to divert the monies collected from you to their private pockets and return back to demand more monies from you endlessly.Please you should not allow yourself to be deceived and extorted anymore. As the new Chancellor in charge of the Treasury in the United Kingdom, I want to assure you that your transfer will now be processed through the simple, transparent and authoritative means where you will not be required to pay any unauthorized fees.
Please discontinue any form of contact with all those you have been dealing with before now, no matter the nature of your relationship with any of these crooks, including my predecessor. My intention is to quickly reactivate and sort out your transfer without any distraction. So you are forbidden to preempt anyone of this contact, otherwise I will be compelled to out rightly cancel your transfer along others a bad debt.
Reply immediately to acknowledge this advice, and I will instruct you further.
Disclaimer: This electronic Mail is confidential and exclusively for the use of the intended recipient(s). If you are not the intended recipient of this message, you must delete and destroy all copies in your possession and immediately notify the sender that you have received this Electronic Mail in error. Any review and/or dissemination of Electronic Mail if you are not the intended recipients(s) is expressly prohibited.
MP George Osborne.
The Chancellor of